


She Didn't Fall From The Stars But Boy, Am I In Freefall Myself

by Olorisstra



Category: One Piece
Genre: AU, Baroque Works Zoro, Canon Typical Shenanigans, Canon Typical Violence, Despite himself Zoro is a softie for kids and animals, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Kuina Lives, Kuina is a Strawhat, M/M, Nico Robin ships it, Safe Sane and Consensual, Swearing, Zoro and Law are the same age, Zoro identifies as 'whatever makes us both come hard' and doesn't bother further than that, between Zoro and Kuina for practicality reasons, dirty talking, explicit for later chapters, original characters will appear, they are not actually a couple
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:15:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27991359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Olorisstra/pseuds/Olorisstra
Summary: After Kuina nearly dies falling off the stairs, after how close she came to being dead and him to lose her and all she represents (much, too much, just thinking about it rends his little heart apart and makes him want to either break the world or break the world and then himself until they make sense again, except a thing like Kuina, strong and unbeated and unrivalled, dying of a fall off the stairswould never make sense) Zoro makes a pact with her.
Relationships: Roronoa Zoro/Original Male Character(s), Roronoa Zoro/Smoker (mentioned one night stand), Roronoa Zoro/Trafalgar D. Water Law
Comments: 3
Kudos: 46





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Gildedmuse](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gildedmuse/gifts).



01.

After Kuina nearly dies falling off the stairs, after how close she came to being dead and him to lose her and all she represents (much, too much, just thinking about it rends his little heart apart and makes him want to either break the world or break the world and then himself until they make sense again, except a thing like Kuina, strong and unbeated and unrivalled, dying of a fall off the stairs _would never make sense_ ) Zoro makes a pact with her.

Kuina vows she will become the greatest swordsman in the world and Zoro vows the same and they agree to not let anyone else be stronger than either of them once they get there, to get it down to just him and Kuina and keep it between them.

Kuina insists that he's a dummy who will never score a point against her, with tears she's not acknowledging in her eyes, and Zoro vows to her that he'll get her on the ground like she does him and strip the title from her, if she gets it first that is, and not give it back until she rips it from him, his face wet and dripping in ways he isn't ashamed of. It is a most solemn vow, that settles on their shoulders like a heavy blanket, like a destiny that they _will_ see through.

02.

The marriage is neither Kuina nor Zoro's idea.

Kuina has no interest in marriage at all or anything even remotely related to it and while Zoro is indifferent to the notion at best, he is also about as interested in touching Kuina's developing curves as he is in watching paint dry or grass grow. There just is _something_ about a man's chest that feels so much better, that makes Zoro grow hard and his head go a little dizzy. He knows because that's how he feels when Toshirou kisses him in the dead of night, the two of them meeting at Toshirou's window for a couple of really pleasurable hours on the nights his parents are not at home and Kuina agrees to drag him there and keep look out duty.

So yeah, neither of them would think of marrying.

It's Saga's idea, because Saga is friendly (unlike Kuina) and personable (unlike Zoro) and is on good terms with everyone in the village (unlike the two of them) and he hears all sort of interesting stuff.

Interesting like the fact that plenty of people are morons who think Kuina and Zoro are courting (they aren't, that's not their kind of dueling, though they have both realized by now that there could be dueling that is like courting, just not between them) and who think Zoro at some point will marry her (the look Kuina and Zoro give each other at this news has Saga in _stitches_ ), take her out at sea with him (it's more likely she'd drag him there, if only so he would not get lost on his way to the dock) because no man would leave his wife behind for years (Zoro thinks about it and then declares that some wives in the village would probably like that, actually, which has both Saga and Kuina in stitches, the assholes) while he hunts for the title of Greatest Swordsman To Ever Live (that's just plain insulting, as that is not a title that exists or either of them wants, and more insulting besides for what it means of their opinions on Kuina but they are well used to shrug off that bullshit idea that Kuina will stop reaching for it nowadays, now that Zoro has got through to her on the subject and gave her a whole new weight exercising routine that, much to his satisfaction, she _is_ managing to keep up with, just like he knew she would).

So yeah, that's all bullshit but, as Saga points out to them once they are finished rolling their eyes at it, it is bullshit that would please Koushirou-sensei (who is good at many things for which Zoro respects him plenty but is also a raging dick at his daughter for which Zoro will never forgive him) and the whole of Shimotsuki village and give Kuina a reason to go and stay away that no one would think twice about.

All they need to do is get Zoro to marry Kuina, so if anything happens to one of them (which it won't, pft, who do they think they are?) the other would have a right to claim the other's swords and other possessions and then they can stage a farewell ceremony, take off and separate at the next island, starting their own paths as swordsmen.

Should they ever need a divorce to marry someone else (Kuina and Zoro look at each other and yeah, no, they highly doubt that will happen, what with Zoro liking dicks and Kuina liking swords), they will just get in contact with each other, agree on a dissolution on grounds of never having consumed their marriage to begin with (because that's not happening, at _any_ point) and there it is, free as birds.

It's a stupid plan and it's a ridiculous plan and it's so much bullshit (who even gets married at fifteen and fourteen years old respectively?) that it makes Zoro doubt the intelligence of anyone who'd buy into it.

So of course it works.

03.

After Saga and Kuina go their own way, it doesn't take Zoro long to stumble over Johnny and Yusaku.

Yusaku is a bit of a crybaby, in a good way, and Johnny is a bit of a coward, in a well meaning but irritating way, but they are good kids (yeah, they are older than him but really, compared to Zoro they are kids) and after Zoro proves that he can pull his weight, they are happy to team up with him. They work well together, as long as the two of them follow Zoro's leadership and Zoro manages to follow their directions without getting distracted by all the possible shortcuts he sees along the way.

They swear brotherhood two months in, Zoro becoming Johnny and Yusaku's _Aniki_ and they part on friendly terms after eight more months, when they all realize that Zoro has outstripped both of them in terms of skills and needs bounties that Johnny and Yusaku would “only lose by a hair” to all the time, to keep himself challenged.

They swear to meet up with each other again and have a night of drinking and catch up every time they do and then they part ways.

04.

To celebrate being able to go after whoever he wishes to without having to worry about anyone but himself, Zoro takes on a pirate crew that has somehow ammassed one hundred, pretty much shitty all around, members and drags them all in for his biggest collection of bounties yet.

It's after that, that the Baroque Works agent approaches Zoro.

05.

Zoro, just for the record, does not like the Baroque Works pitch.

An association where they expect blind loyalty without earning it? Pass.

A group where the associates don't call each other by name, don't know each other's identity and are ranked according to a numerical system? Double pass.

A guild of bounty hunters who don't know who their Boss is, what he looks like or what he's worth nor his reasons to do anything? Triple pass.

He sends the guy packing and goes back to his bounty hunting, though he keeps the Self-Propelled Visual Den Den Mushi the guy had with him, because it has his hundred pirates fight in it and Zoro wants to see it a few more times to check on areas he could improve on with his training.

Plus, the thing seems to work like a Cameko type but without the flashing eyes and can be attached to a monitor without needing a Proko or a Projector type to receive and show the images and it didn't seem to like the guy much. It's much happier with Zoro, munching on the leaves Zoro keeps handing to it, and it seems to get over it's fear of riding around on his shoulder to record his fights very quickly, once it realizes how good Zoro is and that Zoro _will_ put him down on a good vantage point if he thinks the fight is too dangerous to carry Katatsumuri along with him.

In fact, the more time goes on, the less pleased Katatsumuri is to be put down, clinging to Zoro's shoulder when he thinks Zoro is being too cautious (which, to be fair, does not actually happen often) and acting offended for days if Zoro forces him off.

(Katatsumuri might be a Den Den Mushi but he's not stupid. He can move, rather than standing still, but he's still too slow to keep up with his owner, though he's getting better at speed every day that goes by, and if he lets the guy go too far, there are good chances he might get lost and then what would Katatsumuri be left with?

Owners who do not care enough to give him a name? Humans who think he needs to stay a certain size and won't just feed him because he's hungry or help him find a new shell when his grows too small? Assholes who won't care enough to get him Den Den Mushi shaped clothes for when it's cold because they expect to tough it out or die and be replaced? No more great and greater fights to record? No chance to be up line and front for some of the best recordings any Den Den Mushi has ever done? _No thank you_ )

Zoro does not know much about Den Den Mushi but he is vaguely aware that other Den Den Mushi appear to be scared of his, for some reason.

(Katatsumuri lives his life perched on the shoulder of the man who will become the Greatest Swordsman In The World, constantly coming as close to death as his owner do. He might have started out shaking as a leaf and terrified but he hardened quick and he is not going to let any second rate Den Den Mushi unwilling to come up close and personal with the action, to taste the violence and power of it, to take recordings of _his_ owner.)

Oh well, it's not like it's _Zoro's_ problem or anything.

06.

The second Baroque Works pitch, a couple of years later, is better.

Miss All Sunday, as she introduces herself in Loguetown, where she tracked him down, has a personal invitation from the Baroque Works Boss himself for Zoro to go meet him and personally negotiate his contract with him.

She's willing to wait until he is done testing himself and his arm against Sandai Kitetsu to give her pitch too, smiling in that vaguely amused manner at Katatsumuri's keeping a constant side-eye on her while the owner of the shop insists on Zoro taking Yubashiri as well, which buys her another point to her favour.

Miss All Sunday also assures him that her organization will be the one covering for transportation, food and board for Zoro for the entire trip to wherever it is that this Boss has set up shop on the Grand Line which is fine by Zoro. It's not as if he's lacking in funds, especially after having gotten both Sandai Kitetsu and Yubashiri for free, but he couldn't have footed the bills to get there on his own and he is aware enough to accept that his shortcuts don't work the same way as other people's shortcuts do, though they do always take him to where the action is, so he doesn't know why other people bitch about his direction sense. He's never missed a fight, has he?

For some reason, her covering all his bills also includes getting Zoro measured for a whole new set of clothes she insists he will need on the Grand Line, for reasons related to weather and strange islands and the kind of stuff Zoro would usually only worry about in the moment.

Zoro is not convinced he needed enough clothes to fit a brand new trunk but since she's paying for it all, and doesn't need him to say it to get things sized for Katatsumuri as well, he doesn't see the point of protesting , just shrugging and letting her have it, keeping a dark eye on the guys with the tapes that insist they need to put their hands all the way up into Zoro's crotch to measure for whatever an _inseam_ is.

The clothes have better be worth the hassle, is all he has to say.

07.

Zoro is eighteen and has been on the Grand Line for all of three weeks when he and Miss All Sunday dock at Vodka Valley.

“Our bounty hunters here have gone rogue, attacking all pirates indiscriminately, regardless of their orders.” She explains, her lips a curve upward and her eyes shadowed by her hat. “I am supposed to bring them back in line.”

Zoro shrugs and, eager to test his new boys out and see how they behave, if either of them is as obedient and efficient as their Skillfull Grade sister Fukisarashi Shio, who was given to him by Koushirou-sensei upon Zoro's departure from Shimotsuki village, he offers to take care of them for her.

(The fact that his sensei gave Wado Ichimonji directly to Kuina, rather than giving him to Zoro and then that ending in Zoro handing Wado Ichimonji back to his rightful owner, is what made Zoro believe his sensei knew what they were on about, though the man never came out and said anything to confirm it.)

Miss All Sunday smiles, because of course she does, that woman is always smiling, and gestures for him to go ahead, be her guest.

08.

This is how Roronoa Zoro, potential agent of Baroque Works out for a good night of fun testing out his new two swords with his personal Den Den Mushi recording the whole thing, meets Trafalgar D Water Law, currently very drunk and irritated at being woken up by bounty hunters captain of the currently very drunk and passed out Heart Pirates.

On the rolling hills of Vodka Valley, under a full night's moon, finding each other in the process of killing assholes who thought they could take them on, weapons drawn and cocky smile matched with a filthy smirk, blood pumping and bodies strewn all around them.

It is definitely the beginning of _something_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 吹きさらし  
> windswept  
> Fukisarashi  
> 潮流  
> trend, tide, tidal current  
> Shio
> 
> Fukisarashi Shio: Windswept Tidal Current


	2. Chapter 2

09.

Zoro has no idea who the guy is or even what he's called but neither of them are things he's interested in either, not with the way the guy is biting at Zoro's mouth, his long fingers making short work of Zoro's new white shirt, opening it up and pushing it back until Zoro shrugs it off along with the jacket.  
  
The tie, the same tie the guy used to drag Zoro into the first kiss they shared after the last enemies were dispatched and there was no one left alive in the field they were in, stays around his neck, loosened but still hanging there as they share kisses that make Zoro light-headed.  
  
“'m gonna fuck you so hard.” The man mumbles and Zoro snorts, pushing him off and back, just hard enough to make him stumble and end up ass down onto the grass, smiling at the sight the man makes, straddling before he can start up with any protesting.

“Not if I ride your cock first.” Zoro laughs, diving in for another kiss, pushing the guy's shirt up until it's all the way to his armpits and Zoro can lean down and start leaving a trail of bites on the man's chest, making his way down to where he's already started undoing his pants. “Gonna get it all nice and wet and then, while I rut on it, you're going to give me your fingers to suck, so I can open myself up on them.”

He gets a strangled moan and it's definitely one of the 'oh yeah, that's a thing I want to happen' variety so that's good enough for Zoro.

His plan is a go.

Zoro yanks the other swordsman's pants down and puts his mouth to good work.

10.

Trafalgar, as the guy introduced himself as (or, at least, how he settled on being known as once he gave up on getting past that and to the rest of whatever his name is, as Zoro isn't going to deprive himself of the feeling of Trafalgar's cock fucking deep into him just for a name when he already has a perfectly serviceable surname to use and the guy seems to be unable to deal with Zoro's squeezing his muscles tight without any attempts to speak being completely derailed), seems to have thought that Zoro would stop being interested in working Trafalgar's fingers into a drippy mess just because they'd gotten to the point where Zoro has Trafalgar's cock deep in and is riding it with smooth movements.

Trafalgar, as the man's finding out, was dead wrong.

Zoro _likes_ having things in his mouth during sex. Means he doesn't have to talk and he can play with whatever he is being fed at the moment. In this specific case, he is licking come off Trafalgar's fingers, keeping eye contact with him as he makes sure to slowly and thoroughly suck them clean, scraping his teeth over them in the same pattern he is using in clenching his ass tight around the man's cock.

Trafalgar, to his credit, does not look unhappy to have been wrong.

To be fair to the guy, he actually looks a bit concussed.

He's not, actually physically concussed that is.

Zoro checked that he wasn't before they started, along with checking on the drunkness level because tipsy consent is acceptable but smashed consent is not to be trusted or accepted and concussed consent is not consenting at all, Zoro would know, and he knows it's not an actual injury so that could just be how the guy looks when he has someone riding his dick.

It's not a bad look on him.

Zoro rather likes it.

11.

A kitchen counter of a kitchen that's been through a pirate versus bounty hunters fight is not the best place to have sex into but the rest of the room is worse off and Zoro isn't going to take his lips off Trafalgar's cock long enough for them to figure out how to think long enough to agree to relocate and where and then move. A kitchen counter is not the worst place Zoro has ever had sex on, either.

(Smoker's desk in Loguetown, back when Zoro had still been new to the town that one late night he had come in to collect a bounty and Smoker had gone off about Zoro's _methods_ , of all things, and things had devolved from there into a screaming match and the screaming match into grudge fucking, still maintains that distinction, if only because the place reeked so badly of smoke that Zoro had been forced to trash that specific set of clothes, as there was no saving them)

Zoro's managed to get the guy to come thrice, though only the first time was a wet orgasm, which was a bit of a disappointment, before they had to take a break but now that they've shared a rescued bottle of wine and divvied up the roast someone there's no reason for him not to go down on his knees and see about cleaning up the mess that is Trafalgar's cock.

Especially considering the way Trafalgar's moaning for him and how he's tugging on Zoro's hair hard enough to make it sting, looking like he might lose his mind whenever Zoro looks up and keeps him fixed with a stare and a smile, humming one of Zoro's favorite sea shanties around Trafalgar's cock, just to make him go cross-eyed a little.

It's been a while since the last time he had a lover (again, see: Loguetown, desk from hell reeking of smoke and covered in paperwork in different stages of being ruined) and who knows how long it will be until he has the chance to indulge again so he's going to milk this, both the situation and Trafalgar's cock, for all it's worth.

Suck him dry first, get some water and some more food in him, and then he'll see if Trafalgar's amenable to being fucked too, not just to being the one doing the fucking.

Zoro looks up again, staring Trafalgar down, smirks because he neither can nor will stop himself from it, and starts humming _louder_.

12.

They are two for two on wet to dry orgasms and Zoro is determined to bring that count to three to two for wet, so he makes sure to switch between hammering Trafalgar, hard enough to make him scream and dig his nails in Zoro's back hard enough to make Zoro bleed, and just fucking him slow and easy, making him swear and curse and bite at all the parts of Zoro he can reach in an effort to get Zoro to _get a move on_.

He also tried to flip them, to get on top and ride Zoro, but while Trafalgar is a strong man, especially for someone who looks as skinny as he does, he is not at Zoro's level of strength.

It's been easy to keep him pinned, with his consent because for all that Trafalgar is making protesting noises he agreed after that first kiss, when the tie he's hanging on to again had been in his hand for the first time, to use safewords to determine whether or not he needs Zoro to let up and right now Trafalgar is still very much, by Trafalgar's own confirmation just a couple of minutes ago, green for this.

All Zoro's needed to do so far, aside from the fucking, is to occasionally remind Trafalgar that they agreed on no Devil Fruit powers, when the man looks ready to lose it and his fingers start moving in the patterns that mean that he might just start calling up those domes of his, which Zoro doesn't mind doing by thrusting hard enough to break his concentration completely.

Trafalgar is definitely the best fuck Zoro's had so far in his life and he's going to make sure to reward him for that and leave him with the same impression about Zoro.

13.

“I see you had a good night.” Miss All Sunday says with that smile of hers that makes Zoro wary, watching as Zoro finishes bringing the last few crates of food they needed on board.

“Yeah, I did.” Zoro agrees because he's pretty sure the only reason Trafalgar's crew didn't come to rescue their Captain from whoever it was that was making him moan and curse like that is because there must have been drugs mixed in with the drinks, to knock them out. There was never a chance Miss All Sunday wouldn't know what Zoro was up to.

Whatever, it's not as if Zoro's ashamed.

14.

Zoro left the lion share of food, drink, and supplies to Trafalgar and his crew, after pouring the then-snoring man into bed and covering him up with the blanket, with a note pinned on top of the bottle of water he left by the bed telling Trafalgar to take whatever they can store in their ship, wherever they anchored it.

He also added a post scriptum, making a note that he'd have stayed for breakfast and another couple of rounds, but he's got a pain in the neck associate demanding they leave straight away.

He usually wouldn't have bothered with a post-scriptum like that but Trafalgar is a spectacular fuck and Zoro wanted to stay, so he was fine letting him know both that and that he Zoro was fucking irritated at Miss All Sunday's smirking insistence that they leave now.

Fucking woman has an eternal log pose that does not need waiting for it to be set, what's even the fucking hurry about? She won't tell him, because of course, she won't, but she did take care of cleaning up the bodies Zoro and Trafalgar left behind as well as of tidying up the town and putting together the crates of provisions Zoro decided to split between himself and whatever Trafalgar's crew is called so he's going to accept that he owes her for that and let it go, this time.

Zoro's also got no idea how she managed that level of clean up on her own while he was busy elsewhere. He suspects Devil Fruit, but he's got no proof.

Katatsumuri doesn't have any proof for Zoro either but Zoro didn't expect him to. It wasn't up to the Den Den Mushi to keep an eye on Miss All Sunday after Zoro saw the glint in Trafalgar's eyes and put Katatsumuri down.

(With his cooperation too, since Katatsumuri seems to always know when Zoro is about to get laid. Sometimes early enough to the point of warning _Zoro_ that Zoro's about to get laid, as those are the only times he squirms to be put down and occasionally Katatsumuri notices someone's interest in Zoro before Zoro does. Not with Trafalgar but Trafalgar wasn't exactly being _subtle_ )

All Zoro would have expected Katatsumuri to do is exactly what Katatsumuri did: go off hunting for grass that wasn't soaked in blood to eat and find a good place to do his speed exercises in, without paying any attention to what anyone else still alive was doing as they were all known quantities.

(Zoro's kinda curious about whether doing speed sprints to get faster is a Self-Propelled Visual Den Den Mushi thing or a Katatsumuri thing but he hasn't found a way to find out yet, so the question stays shelved for the moment.)

The Den Den Mushi is back on Zoro's shoulder, now, in his rightful place, after having waited for Zoro outside of the inn Trafalgar's crew was sleeping their drunkenness off in, immediately crawling up Zoro's pant leg and chest to settle on his shoulder the moment Zoro came stumbling out, legs a bit weak, ass and mouth very sore in the best ways.

They are laid out and Miss All Sunday's large, comfy sofa, on the back of her turtle transport, and it's a nice sunny day, with a warm temperature and a sunny breeze. Zoro is tired from a night well spent and, honestly, if he's sleeping he doesn't have to see the way Miss All Sunday looks at him, amused and knowing and like she's taking whatever mental notes she takes for whatever reason she takes them.

So yeah.

Time for a nap.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted this to be longer but after two and a half days of fighting it, I'm throwing in the towel.
> 
> It is what it is.

15.

Zoro has a headache, a limpet attached to his leg and no sake left to deal with either. He is also starting to consider the idea that most places inhabited by people, on the Grand Line, are filled with assholes and sheep, way more than it was in East Blue, sometimes potentially literally.

“Let go.” He snaps, testily, to the limpet, because his patience went into negative fucks to give a few hours and three left turns ago. “You're an eyesore. Go back home.”  
  
The limpet shakes his head and wraps himself tighter around Zoro's leg, like that could stop Zoro from punting him right back to his parents, as soon as he comes across them. He won't until then, and that's all the leeway he's willing to concede alright? The important thing to establish here is that he _could_ and that the limpet should know better than to just plaster himself to the leg of the first pirate he comes across and then smash his face against it as if trying to hide from the world around him.

Who the fuck even chooses to attach himself to the leg of the same guy who, for some reason, Zoro is clearly missing (one he is 99% sure has to do with whatever Miss All Sunday transmitted with her own Den Den Mushi after Vodka Valley), clearly terrifies the rest of this lousy town?

16.

Any potential indecision Zoro might have had between whether to do this town a favor and executing their criminally incompetent criminal of a mayor or let them keep suffering under his rule (as they clearly highly deserve each other) is handily only solved by the fact that he doesn't care enough about the local bastards to help them out.

Plus, Katatsumuri was pretty clearly disgusted by the thought of Zoro wasting his boys' steel on such a lousy quality, discount brand, cannot-even-qualify-as-an-enemy target. He took a look at them and made that _eugh_ sound he reserves for the weaklings he would not bother recording the defeat of. Zoro pretty much agreed.

Tetsuya is now holding on to Zoro's forearm for dear life, stuffed under Zoro's arm like he usually would carry a sack of apples. Except a sack of apples would be much less wriggly and it wouldn't have a tragic story of betrayed parents, horrible relatives who abandoned him, and scavenging in the streets after being abandoned there to be a pain in the neck on Zoro's vaguely defined conscience.

Seriously, does anyone on the Grand Line have a past that is not a sob story? Zoro keeps meeting people whose life sucked. What even is it, with Grand Line's islands.

Tch.

Whatever, it doesn't matter.

What matters is that Zoro is now stuck having to drag Tetsuya off the island (which happens to be exactly what the brat wanted when he attached himself limpet style to Zoro's leg, the little suicidal moron), lest he get killed the moment Zoro and Miss All Sunday are ought of sight and mind, and find him a new place to live that doesn't suck completely.

On the Grand Line.

As if that's _easy_.

Whatever, Zoro will manage.

Things will get easier, once he's found the kid a place to live and finally gets to haggle himself a good contract with Baroque Works, Zoro reminds himself as he jumps off the pier and onto the turtle transport where Miss All Sunday is already reclined with a drink and a welcoming expression.

17.

The clothes are just a necessity.

Tetsuya looks like the rags he's wearing are going to fall off him at every second and, even after four washes, Katatsumuri keeps making tiny disgusted noises at the sight of them that make Miss All Sunday pet him with gentle approval and feed him premium lettuce.

(Zoro doesn't begrudge his buddy the premium lettuce. It's like him with sake. No reason to say no when Miss All Sunday keeps handing him this fine quality stuff she says is from a place called Wano, and tastes better than anything else Zoro's ever had. Accepting the pets though, that's going a bit too far, Katatsumuri.)

Of course, she is all about a shopping trip, one that she is still willing to pay for, dragging both Zoro and the kid through every shop on the Winter Island they have stopped at, informing Zoro that he needs clothes as well, since Loguetown did not, apparently, have an acceptable selection. So it's a full trunk of stuff for the kid, to 'relieve his future family from the financial burden of dressing the boy' Miss All Sunday insists, plus a full new set of clothes for Zoro and whatever Miss All Sunday can put together for Katatsumuri, as she thinks he'd feel left out not to have anything new (she might have a point on that one, Katatsumuri certainly seems to think that she does if the approving looks are anything to go by).

Honestly, given that the bill is not something _Zoro_ has to worry about, the moment Zoro gets the new insulated coat that does not get in the way of his sword fighting and those nice boots with a perfect grip on the frozen ground that allows Zoro to train even when standing on snow or ice, he doesn't care anymore. He finds a grove to test them out in thoroughly and then accepts the ale and hot food bribe Miss All Sunday set up for him in exchange for sitting still for the strange tailors in the little hut at the back of the market while they take Katatsumuri's measures.

Apparently, there are shops that _specialize_ in Den Den Mushi accessories and clothing, because that's a thing people like to do it seems. Spend an outrageous amount of money on snail-sized clothing to personalize their appearance, though they do not seem to be used to take the Den Den Mushi's opinion's into consideration, at least going by the bewildered looks Miss All Sunday gets for bringing up swatches of colors and something she calls 'pattern designs' to Katatsumuri to judge and decide upon.

Zoro keeps an eye on them, just in case they will turn out to be a problem, but there turns out to be no reasons for him to intervene, which is good, because it means Zoro can get more of the food in his belly and finish his a couple of mugs of spiced ale that warm him right up and also make sure Tetsuya does not make himself sick enough to vomit again by making sure the kid eats slowly and stops when he is actually full. Taking care of a kid is such a hassle, ugh.

They walk out of the shop full, rested and with a whole set of new clothes and accessories for Katatsumuri, including a small, water-proof bandana with holes for his eyestalks and a self-warming haramaki the same green as Zoro's that Katatsumuri seems very smug about.

He ought to be, he looks great in them.

“He looks just like you now!” Tetsuya cheers, beaming up at Katatsumuri. “He just needs a small sword to fit into his mouth now!”

Huh.

“That's actually not a bad idea,” Zoro murmurs, letting Miss All Sunday drag the kid off to get a new coat of his own as he turns his head to look at Katatsumuri thoughtfully. Katatsumuri is already looking back at him, an excited expression in his eyes as he does the same wriggle dance he does whenever Zoro finds his favorite leaves or finds a fight worth recording. “I won't go easy on you on teaching you, though.”  
  
He totally deserved the eyestalk-slapping he received on the neck, Zoro will admit, if only to himself.

18.

There are no orphanages on the Winter Island and no one willing to take an unknown orphan in because, clearly, Grand Line People are dicks.

On the Spring Island after that, there are still not orphanages but they find one couple of old folks but they had definitely looked too suspiciously eager to get their hands on a kid. Tetsuya latches onto Zoro's leg again the moment they tried to reach for him, further proof that the kid has both sharp instincts and a continued disregard for how stupid it is of him to latch onto Zoro that tightly. It's not that Zoro cannot fight with the kid holding on to him, he absolutely can, it's the principle of the thing, really.

As for Zoro himself, he doesn't trust how utterly delighted those guys look, either. As if taking care of a kid is just going to be a joy and a delight and a walk in the park. Their farm looks picture-perfect, the house is all clean and in order, there are photos of the couple all over the place and they seem to have led a long and happy life. It's suspicious as fuck, is what it is, considering that not one person Zoro has met on the Grand Line so far has been older than forty nor has had an easy, long, uncomplicated life.

No, there has to be something going on with these guys, Zoro is just not interested in kicking things over until he finds out what. All that matters is that they aren't a good fit, who even knows what they must be up to in that little farm of theirs. They probably are just a front for some criminal association or something.

Zoro can't, in good conscience, leave the kid there.

Maybe he'll get luckier on the next island.

19.

For someone whose father was supposedly a skilled swordsman who left his only son a decent enough Grade sword, Tetsuya's one sword form is so bad that it makes Zoro hurt to see. Zoro would have never thought of himself as the teaching kind but there are only so many flawed repetitions of the same movement he can tolerate before his eye starts twitching and his throat stars warming up for a scream.

He's not going to insult the kid's father out loud, Tetsuya is still ridiculously attached to the man's memory and it is pretty damn obvious he would make an honest, if shitty, attempt of jamming said Grade sword in one of Zoro's kidneys should Zoro say anything less than positive about the guy, but _fuck_ the guy either never taught his kid or he was a shitty swordsman that was only thought good because there were no other swordsmen around.

Whichever way it was, Zoro is stuck on this turtle with Miss All Sunday, a training Katatsumori who is very busy learning to move around and do his sprints without dropping the knife Zoro found for him, and nothing to do except for training himself and watching Tetsuya ruin any chance he might have had of ever seeing a swing connect.

“Oi, you idiot!” Zoro snaps, unable to help himself, when Tetsuya shifts into a new, just-flawed-enough-to-be-eye-searingly-bothersome stance. “Come here, I'll show how to fucking hold that sword properly!”

“Fuck you!” Tetsuya snaps back but also eagerly runs up to Zoro's side, dragging his sword along in a way that makes Zoro wince.

What the fuck.

He's really going to have to start from the 'respect your sword' lessons?

 _Fuuuck_.

What the fuck was that shitty father's deal? Swordsman Zoro's _ass_. The guy was a fucking liar, that is what he was.

20.

Busy as he is sniping with the boy as he corrects his stances, Zoro completely misses Miss All Sundays satisfied little smile as well as the approving look she shoots at Tetsuya.

Very good at keeping his errors consistent, that boy.


End file.
